Composition of the therapy
In the therapy I will introduce you to different perspectives that can facilitate movement and active communication in relationships with problematic habitual behavioural patterns.
On this basis we will develop solutions appropriate to your problems by making use of your own abilities, strengths and previous successes. We will work together to develop solutions for difficult situations and will rebuild the foundations on which you as a couple or family can move forward. In order to facilitate this, I will provide you with ideas and suggestions for your further development.
Patterns
Systemic thinking, "patterns" are behaviours and actions that recur and perpetuate themselves.
In their interactions, couples and families often hold onto behaviours that in the past proved successful but that, due to various factors, do not work anymore. This leads to arguments, disagreements and dissatisfaction.
Thus any changes to the behaviour, views and expectations of one person will also trigger changes in the relationship.
Resources
"Resources" are all the abilities, strengths and ideas that you have at your disposal.
They are at the centre of the therapy. For example, meaningful experiences that you have had, your own attempts at problem solving that you have undertaken in the past or important insights you have had.
In our sessions you will be helped to become aware of these resources so that they can be incorporated into the counselling process.
Resources are for example:
existing well-functioning behaviours
ideas for solutions and further steps
your imagination
Questions
In our sessions you will soon notice that I ask a lot of questions. The advantage is that you are in this way helped to try to understand more clearly your own thoughts, interpretations, intentions and goals.
It is specifically not about labelling your behaviour as ‘acceptable’ or ‘unacceptable’. Your views and abilities are at the centre.
Using your resources, we will together develop solutions that are helpful for you. A further advantage of working with questions is – especially in couple therapy – that the partner is often curious to learn the answers to such questions that they themselves might never have asked in that way and this can prove very enlightening.
Research findings
There has been a lot of research in recent years into marriage and relationships. Scientific studies have found that there are significant differences between happy and unhappy couples in the ways that they communicate with each other. My therapeutic approach incorporates these aspects of recent research.